Finally, it has arrived! The day many savvy beauty bargain hunters (and cheeky fleaBayers) have waited for, it is, of course, the Boots 70% sale.
I just happened to stumble upon last year’s sale, and even an hour after doors had opened, I managed to stock up on a year’s worth of toiletries for next to nothing. It was, however, worth going just for the people watching*. Grown women fighting over the last No. 7 eye palette is truly a sight to behold.
Given that this year’s 70% sale has started later than previously, I had plenty of time to scope out the local stores, on the off-chance that I’d be in the area on the Big Day. I have to say, this year’s gift sets have been massively disappointing. Bar one or two items, not much piqued my interest. Most are made up of travel sized items, and if you looked at the pricing, you could buy the full sized items on special offers, or from places like B&M or Poundland, far cheaper. But my eagle eyes had spotted a couple of sets among the ‘celeb’ branded stuff that clearly doesn’t sell (I don’t even know what a Zoella is, but I remembered that the range was a massive flop last year, too.)
As it happened, I was working in Leicester today, and I decided to pop along and hopefully get the items I’d seen. I also wanted the people watching*.
I thought I wouldn’t be the first person to turn up, arriving shortly before opening time, but was staggered by the size of the queue which reached M&S, and was several women (for it was mostly ladies there, and as it transpired, I use the word loosely) deep in places. I have no idea what time those at the front had got there, but they were very well wrapped up, or looked perished. The size of the bags and trolleys some eager shoppers had brought along indicated that they probably were going to adopt a ‘shove it all in’ strategy. More on that later…
Passers-by would ask what was going on. A couple carried on, shaking their heads, whilst others joined the back of the queue which had grown even since my late arrival. There was a look of panic on some faces. ‘Have I arrived too late?’ Before anyone casts any aspersions on me being there, don’t. I openly mocked it, and if I’d arrived earlier, I’d have gone for a coffee first and hoped for the best, rather than stand in the freezing cold, but it was so close to opening, I thought I’d see how it would all develop. I wasn’t disappointed in the people watching* stakes.
At 8am, the furthest door opened. The sight of grown adults trying to push past and squeeze through this relatively narrow entrance was a sight to behold. Especially as the shutters were half way up on the main set of doors. Yep, that’s right. Plural. Through the door glass, I could see the frenzy as people scrambled for the escalator. Once the shutters had reached about 5′ in height, those queuing in front of them went for the extra door capacity and piled in. Seeing as I was in front of the row of doors, I tried to casually walk through, only to be shoved out of the way by what looked like a female prop forward, desperate to reach the moving staircase.
Laughing, I opted for the static staircase. Very few shoppers did, to be fair, so I was able to leisurely stroll upstairs without any further assault. Thank goodness for the terminally lazy, and/or the sheep mentality.
There’s only one way to describe the scene unfolding before me when I reached the upper shop floor. It was like being in Trafalgar Square, and throwing a handful of breadcrumbs** into the air, and then watching thousands of pigeons suddenly swarm in and go for it. There were limbs everywhere. I headed straight to where the items I wanted were, and moved out as quickly as I could. It was total, no holds barred chaos. If you stood for too long, and we’re talking nanoseconds here, in one spot, you would be shoved out of the way by someone trying to grab as much of what they hadn’t really registered the contents of, as they could. I’m not joking, some were just sweeping stuff off of the shelves straight into their bags. There were three blokes trying to fill the storage crates they had brought along with all of the Ted Baker and Jack Wills gift sets they could. It was a properly organised and planned heist. They were even using phones to keep in touch and make sure they’d covered all bases, I kid you not.
Elsewhere, women were struggling to move the bags that they’d filled. Some were sorting out the wheat from the chaff; shove it in, and then work out later if you want it. I’m not criticising*** but surely it would be better to just stand back, look at what’s in front of you and then decide if you want it? No? And rather than place unwanted items back on shelves, they just left them on the floor. Random piles were appearing everywhere.
A staff member offered me a large shopping bag, but I’d got what I wanted. I looked on in amazement at the complete and utter ridiculousness of people.
Once I’d had enough people watching,* I headed off to pay for the few items I’d picked up, and carry on with my day. There was still plenty of stock on the shelves, and so no fisticuffs took place at this point. There were a lot of rude and inconsiderate shoppers on display, however.
I have to admit, I did return a few hours later for the ‘lolz’. Most of the shelves had been stripped bare. Desperate women were rooting through the Zoella and Kylie Jenner sets in the vain hope of something better, but all of the good stuff had gone. There weren’t even any ‘hidden gems’, it was that bare.
If you want to go to, and survive, the Boots 70% sale, all I’d say really should know in advance what you want, and where it is. Swoop in, grab it, and then get out of there. This is not the place for casually browsing and selecting items based upon intelligent thought and reasoning. It is brutal. The only thing I’ve ever seen that’s close to this is the Next sale. Only the brave or the foolhardy should attempt this. I’ll let you guess which camp I belong in.
*Read ‘comedy value’
**I know, I know, it’s not environmentally friendly, and birds shouldn’t be fed bread, and it doesn’t help with controlling numbers, etc etc
***But I am
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